2018 Menswear Men Shouldn’t Wear.

Menswear Men Shouldn't Wear

I’m pretty open-minded when it comes to fashion. I appreciate designers who try new things, work with unusual materials and question tradition. But this year’s Fashion Week unveiled some menswear, men’s hairstyles and makeup that were so outrageously ridiculous, they couldn’t even masquerade as art. 

Scary 2018 Menswear

As the world becomes more accepting of various gender-bending and androgynous fashions, designers are striving to create unique and innovative designs that can be worn by just about anyone. But there are certain looks no one should wear. Ever. Under any circumstances. And here they are.

From Charles Jeffrey’s Loverboy Collection, SS 2018

Charles Jeffrey menswear
Not sure which is worse, the funereal Sister-wife dress or the fabric toilet seat hat.
ridiculous menswear
He loves me, he loves me not. He loves me…
Charles Jeffrey 2018 menswear collection
So glad the knickers match that coat. Or it’d have ruined the whole look.

From Angus Chiang’s SS 2018 Menswear Collection

Angus Chiang's SS 2018 Menswear Collection
When you look this bad, I’d rather have the bag over your head be opaque.
menswear angus chiang
Because fried eggs breasts and clod-hoppers are soooo hot!

From Vivienne Westwood’s SS 2018 Menswear Collection

Vivienne Westwood's SS 2018 Menswear Collection
I’ll have to lend you a padded bra if you’re gonna try to carry this off.
Vivienne Westwood Menswear Collection
Nope. The hair’s no better – even with the ace bandage gown.
stupid fashions for men
This is what I’d like to see you in when I introduce you to my mother.
vivienne westwood motherfucker tee
After all, how could she not love that face?
ridiculous fashions for men
I just know she’s gonna wanna borrow those red-orange fishnets filled with garbage.
mens fashions
How many times have I told you? Flip-flops look much better with your brocade Borat suit.
Vivienne Westwood 2018 Menswear Collection
Clowns are scary. Mimes are scary. Those shorts are scary.

From Palomo Spain’s Orlando and Boy Walks In An Exotic Forest Collections

Palomo Spain's Orlando and Boy Walks In An Exotic Forest Collections
Lord knows, I can’t wait to unwrap YOU!
Orlando and Boy Walks In An Exotic Forest Collection
I can finally let Cher know I found her old Bob Mackie pants and mock turtleneck.
Palomo Spain Orlando and Boy
Nope, can’t wear that. You simply cannot look more fabulous than me.
Palomo Spain's Orlando and Boy Walks In An Exotic Forest Collections
Not sure what’s sexier. The hint of flesh-colored bulge or the way the fringe brushes gently against those snakeskin boots.
clothes that make men look stupid
You vision in celadon, you!
Orlando and Boy menswear
I see what you did with your eyes there. Nice touch.

From Comme des Garcons Homme Plus’ SS 2018 Menswear Collection

Comme des Garcons Homme Plus' SS 2018 Menswear Collection
How convenient! The sparkly culottes have ample room to hide a better outfit you can change into.
Comme des Garcons 2018 Menswear Collection
There’s no way I’m washing that jacket for you. You’re on your own.
Comme des Garcons Homme Plus' mens shoes
These totally come in handy when you cannot locate your snowshoes.

From Walter Van Beirendonck, Owl’s Whisper Collection, SS 2018

Walter Van Beirendonck, Owl's Whisper Collection, SS 2018
I could think of a slightly more flattering way to apply make up.
Walter Van Beirendonck SS 2018 menswear
When I said I liked men with pecs and abs, this is not what I meant.
Walter Van Beirendonck SS 2018
Finally. Woody Allen’s Hydrovac suit from Sleeper is a reality. Now where’s that pump?

And lastly, from Craig Green’s SS 2018 Menswear Collection

Craig Green's SS 2018 Menswear Collection
Makes it a bit difficult for you to drive to dinner.
Craig Green SS 2018 Menswear Collection
Nope, no better in color.

The pieces, make up and hairstyles shown in this post are from the legit designers’ Spring Summer 2018 Menswear Collections and were presented on the catwalks during this year’s Fashion Week in Paris, Milan and other cities.