Oh Jesus! 15 Bizarre and Blasphemous Stocking Stuffers

Whether you’re devout or agnostic, these tongue-in-cheek Jesus inspired stocking stuffers are intended for those with a healthy sense of humor. 14 divine, funny, useful and affordable ways to bring a sacrilegious giggle to the holiday.

15 Jesus inspired Christmas Stocking Stuffers

1. Inflatable Jesus
Inflatable Jesus model for hours of fun • Blow up the Lord and he’s ready for action • Instant Jesus wherever you need him • He floats on water • Measures 50cm tall
Inflatable Jesus IIHIH
Buy Blow-up Jesus Christ – Inflatable Jesus Fun!

2. Jesus of Nazareth Rubber Ducky
Jesus Celebriduck • Size: About 4 inches tall • Made of Safe Phthalates Free Vinyl • Bathe Divine!
Jesus Rubber Duckie IIHIH
Buy Jesus of Nazareth Rubber Duck: Limited Edition Celebriduck

3. Jesus Bandages
Tin Container measures approx. 3-3/4″ H • Includes 15 bandages • Each bandage measures approx. 3″ L x 3/4″ W • Bonus trinket in each tin
Jesus bandages or plasters IIHIH
Accoutrements Jesus Bandages

4. Jesus of Nazareth Bendy
Made of soft, safe PVC material • Bendable and poseable • Great companion on the journey of life!
JESUS of Nazareth Bendable IIHIH
Buy Jesus of Nazareth Bendable Figure

5. Grow Your Own Jesus
Expands up to 600% its original size once placed in water. Your little faith healer will slowly shrink back to his original size once he is taken out.
Grow Jesus IIHIH
Buy Grow Your Own Jesus

6. Jesus Action Figure
Made of hard vinyl • 5″ tall figure • Poseable arms
jesus-action-figure IIHIH
Buy Accoutrements Jesus Action Figure

7. Deluxe Miracle Jesus Action Figure
Feeds 5000 with 5 Loaves & 2 Fish • Turns Water into Wine • Glow-in-the-dark Hands
deluxe- miracle jesus-action-figure IIHIH
Buy Jesus Action Figure Deluxe

8. Dashboard Jesus
Hard vinyl 4.5″ figure • Sits on metal spring with an adhesive base • Add a little serenity to your commute
Dashboard jesus IIHIH
Buy Dashboard Jesus

9. Jesus Magnetic Finger Puppet
A Jesus magnetic finger puppet! On your finger, it’s a puppet; on your fridge, it’s a magnet! • Approx. 4″ tall.
jesus finger puppet IIHIH
Buy Jesus Magnetic Finger Puppet

10. The Original JESUS SAVES Bank -The Bank you can trust.
Durable Ceramic Multi Colored Coin Bank with Coin Slot in Front • Bank Stands 7″ High X 5 1/4″ X 3″, Weight 1 lb.
Original Jesus Saves bank IIHIH
Buy The Original JESUS SAVES Bank-The Bank you can trust.

11. Jesus Christ Nodder Doll Bobble Head
This unique 7 1/2-inch hard-vinyl Jesus Nodder will bob his head with a ‘yes’ or ‘no,’ to help you answer those really difficult questions and make the tough decisions. Packaged in a nifty window box, this heavenly figure is sure to bring joy to the holidays.

Buy Accoutrements Jesus Bobble Head

12. Royal Bobbles Jesus Christ Bobblehead
Heavyweight Polyresin construction • Finest quality Jesus bobblehead that has ever been produced • Limited Edition collectible bobblehead from Royal Bobbles • Colorful collector box with styrofoam protection
royal bobbles Jesus Christ Bobblehead IIHIH
Buy Jesus Christ Bobblehead by Royal Bobbles

13. Jesus Christ Keychain with LED flashlight
Let Jesus light the way with this pocket sized keychain of Jesus with led beam light
jesus Christ LED Flashlight keychain IIHIH
Buy Jesus Christ Keychain with LED flashlight

14. Jesus Soap on A Rope
Bubbletown’s Jesus Soap on A Rope is what you will need to wash away all your sins, such as laughing at these products.
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Buy the Jesus Soap On A Rope here  (This product was pulled by the manufacturer after many complaints. Boo!)

And while this won’t fit in a stocking, there’s no way I could leave this one out:
15. The Grilled Cheesus Sandwich Press
• Toasts the face of Jesus on every sandwich
• Non-stick plates mean heavenly quick clean ups!
• The rays help to evenly distribute heat ensuring the perfect toast.
• Keep it holy, use swiss 🙂
• A portion of our proceeds are donated toward doing good deeds around the world.
Grilled Cheesus Sandwhich maker IIHIH
Buy The Grilled Cheesus Sandwich Press

And there you have it!  15 Divine options for sacrilegious holiday gifts.