Nope, I’m not kidding. I thought hawking a vagina-scented perfume was pretty bizarre, now there’s Bottled Instinct Vaginal Beer on the market.
Bottled Instinct Vaginal Beer
Poland’s The Order of Yoni has launched a beer, Bottled Instinct, that contains a quintessence of femininity.
HOW IS IT MADE?
They use hi-tech microbiology to isolate, examine and prepare lactic acid bacteria, which is examined for purity and safety, from the vagina of model Alexandra Brendlova.
They then add it to water, malt (Pilsner, Munich, caramel, roasted), hops (Czech Kazbek, America cascade), wooden chips and yeast to result in a sour ale.
The bacteria is taken from the vagina using a gynecological stick. Then the stick goes to the laboratory, where the bacteria are isolated and cleaned, identified and then, multiplied to the quantity that enables preparation of culture starter kit that is used in brewery. The lyophilized bacteria are examined for the presence of alien DNA and / or RNA, so they are 100% sure that only lactobacillus bacteria, and no other bacteria or viruses, are in the final product.
The bottled beverage is said to contain femininity, sensuality, charm, passion and sexuality by using the vaginal lactobacillus bacteria in their brewing process. This technology enables them to convert the loveliness, gracefulness and character of real model Alexandra Brendlova into a beer, giving you a taste of a real goddess.
Their first offering, their intent, as stated on Indiegogo, is to brew an entire collection of related beers such as the following:
• BDSM ale – sour ale made with smoked plums and vaginal lactic acid bacteria of red-head or brunette model,
• Blond ale made with wheat malt, saffron and edible gold, with vaginal lactic acid bacteria of a blond-haired model or celebrity,
• Aphrodisia / Dionysia – wheat ale made with ancient strains of wheat, grape juice,
• Mona Lisa – brown sour ale with wooden chips, the tribute to the famous piece of art,
• Isis – Sour ancient wheat ale with roses,
• Cleopatra – Milk stout regarding to Cleopatra’s milk baths,
• Lady Godiva – sour ale with English hops.
According to The Order of Yoni’s Facebook Page, there are some inaccuracies in articles floating around the Internet that they have addressed.
“Firstly, the beer has no taste of the vagina – it has only lactic acid bacteria that have been isolated from the vagina, then multiplied and precisely tested in the laboratory. There’s no possibility of the presence of other, inappropriate elements in the drink. The taste of beer is slightly sour and can be compared to the taste of champagne.
Secondly, besides lactic acid bacteria, in production there is also used yeast responsible for the alcoholic fermentation.” – The Order of Yoni
RESPECT FOR WOMEN
They make it clear under the FAQS on their site that they do not feel this reflects any disrespect for women. On the contrary, they state – and I quote – “No. Firstly, Yoni is a sacred Hindu name of vagina and it symbolizes our respect to vagina as a sacrum. In Indian and many of other cultures sexuality including vagina are parts of sacrum, are respected and we are convinced such respect should be also present in our modern Western culture. Secondly, vaginal lactobacillus bacteria are transferred from a mother to a child during childbirth, so mother’s Yoni bacteria are becoming part of child’s immune system. The Order believes the beer is a tribute to our mothers and a tribute to the act of childbirth. It is far, far from disrespect for a woman.”
There has also been some question as to the validity of model Alexandra Brendlova. Although a beautiful girl, it’s virtually impossible to find her representation or any modeling work done by her in the past.
Some folks are doubting the validity of this product and are concerned it’s a scam. However, the Order of Yoni has been very clear in listing the facts and is willing to answer anyone’s questions on their Facebook page here
They claim the beer will be brewed in The Order, a craft brewery who commissions brewing for partners. However, I have been unable to locate such brewery in Poland or the US.
They are seeking funding through IndieGoGo hoping to reach their goal of €150,000.
Ingredients: water, malt (Pilsner, Munich, caramel, roasted), hops (Czech Kazbek, America cascade), wooden chips, yeasts, lactobacillus acidophilus
Temperature of serving: 8-13 C / 46-55 F
They have launched pre-sales of the Bottled Instinct beer for such entities as importers, distributors, shops, restaurants, pubs or clubs. 50% paid now, 50% paid after the delivery. You cover the transport costs. Simply contact them here