As the institution of marriage has changed, so has the traditional wedding cake topper. I’m not talking about same gender cake toppers, those are hardly odd. I’m talking about THESE wedding cake toppers that exemplify some of the oddest, tackiest and most offensive nuptials ever.
WTF Wedding Cake Toppers
Traditional ceramic wedding toppers by the likes of Lenox, Royal Doulton and Lladro are always the safe way to go. And, of course there are custom wedding cake toppers one can buy that, handcrafted of sculpey clay, resin or a similar material, can be anything you wish. But those cost quite a bit and take time to make.
However somewhere, in some conference room, people got together, presented ideas, approved of them and then went on to mass-produce the following bizarre options.
These wedding cake toppers are real and sold through various channels. They are referred to as funny or novelty cake toppers when the terms bizarre, offensive and even ‘WTF?’ seem more apropos.
The Couch Potato Groom Wedding Topper
Most of these cake toppers are available in either the more expensive, finely detailed porcelain or sloppily cast in resin or plastic.
For the Lascivious Bride and Groom
Because we all know how common a horny bride is.
The bare-assed Bride and Groom Cake Topper
It doesn’t get much classier than this.
The Humping Bride Cake Topper
The African American version:
The oh-so-common ass grabbing Bride and Groom:
The Obnoxious Cell Phone Bride and Groom Cake Topper:
For the Sports Enthusiast
Bride and Groom Playing Basketball Cake Topper
Because there’s nothing like playing H-O-R-S-E at your wedding reception.
Bride Tackling Football Playing Groom
Bride Tackling Rugby playing Groom Cake Topper:
Shop more sports and other cake toppers by Weddingstar here
For all you spies that are getting married, there’s even more than one Mr. and Mrs. Smith-esque Gun wielding wedding cake topper.
Wedding Collectibles Super Sexy Spy cake topper
Better Line® – Sexy Spy Cake Topper:
There’s even a couple with Semi-automatic weapons!
High Five Groom and High Five Bride are not Geek chic, they are just geeky.
The most popular are the good ‘ol reluctant, runaway and resistant participants. Because there’s nothing more romantic on one’s wedding day than knowing that the bride or groom was coerced, bullied or dragged to the altar. With Caucasian, African American and Same Sex versions available, at least they are equal-opportunity offensive.
Grooms Who Don’t Want To Get Married
Archie McPhee’s Reluctant Groom Cake Topper
Amscan Got You By The Tie Topper
Groom Tied Up Wedding Cake Topper
Wilton Oh No You Don’t Cake Topper
Wilton Now I Have You Cake Topper
Wilton Ball and Chain Cake Topper
Wilton Camo Groom Bride Wedding Cake Topper
Better Line® – Bride Carrying The Groom Cake Topper
Another Bride Carrying a Groom:
Better Line® – Bride Chasing the Groom Cake Topper
Better Line® – Bride Dragging the Groom to the Wedding Cake Topper
Bride Fishing for a Groom Cake Topper:
Groom Not Wearing The Pants Wedding Topper
Brides Who Don’t Want To Get Married
Archie McPhee’s Reluctant Bride Topper:
Wilton Runaway Bride Cake Topper
Bride Dragging Bride to The Altar:
Don’t Go Cake Topper:
Groom Fishing For A Bride Cake Topper:
And lastly, the You, Me and My Tractor Cake Topper
Almost all shown here are available in either Caucasian or African American versions.
Most are available through Amazon
• Riverbyland Wedding Cake Toppers
The titles contain links to purchase.
If you need alternate races or same sex versions, please check the following links:
• That’s My Topper
• Ali Express