I’ve always disliked ‘couple’s costumes’ when it comes to Halloween. Firstly, if you’re not side-by-side all evening long, no one knows what the hell you are supposed to be and secondly, if your costume is dependent upon someone else’s to make sense, it probably sucks. That said, some suck more than others and here are ten of the most awful, ugly, stupid and just plain unfunny couple’s costumes one could possibly buy on Amazon.

Worst Halloween Costumes for Couples

Some couples costumes make sense. Romeo and Juliet, Wayne and Garth, … even Pizza and Beer. But then there are these. Costumes for couples that are not only awkward and hideous, but make little to no sense whatsoever.

Brand Tigerdoe has some of the worst. In addition to fact that the costumes themselves are actually ugly, the ‘pairings’ are mundane household objects about which no one cares, likes or even thinks about.

1. Couples Costumes Halloween Salt and Pepper Costume https://amzn.to/2IyYJx2
Not only do these costumes look nothing like salt or pepper shakers, but you’d have to wear those awful hats and tent dresses to boot which make you look like a medieval melting Monty Python alien.

2. Toothbrush and Toothpaste Costume – 2 Pc Set – Couples Costumes https://amzn.to/30YVt4q
How many times have you said to your significant other “You are the toothpaste to my toothbrush”? I’m guessing never. Oh and to have your heads smushed into those? I’d rather get my teeth drilled.

3. Couples Costumes – Novelty Sneaker Costume https://amzn.to/33jr9mr
I hate these people. Kick them to the curb.

4. Loofah & Soap Costume – 2 Pc – Couples Costumes https://amzn.to/33bZmVd
Oh yeah, I get it. He’s a bar of soap and she’s one of those gross shower scrubbies. How not funny.

5. Then there’s Rasta Imposta‘s  Poop and Toilet Paper 2 Piece Couples Costume https://amzn.to/2AWBY1I
Is it a given that the male is the piece of shit?

6. Pot Leaf and Joint Couples Halloween Costume https://amzn.to/2LWrKov
These look nothing like either a pot leaf or a joint. The Joint looks more like a Camo barf burrito and I hope someone takes a grinder to that pot leaf.

7. Oh, look, Hauntlook has a Lightplug and Socket duo https://amzn.to/2VpzkuV  where the three prong plug looks more like a diaper with three golden schlongs and the outlet is an ugly tunic that can double as a dish towel.

8.The Adult Ok Pointer Costume https://amzn.to/2IzgOuV
I believe this can get you killed in some countries.

9. How could I forget the age-old Traffic Light Couple? https://amzn.to/2ARlIPI That one always sells out.

10. Fork and Spoon Packed Together https://amzn.to/32beVMw
Oh yeah, nothing says sexy like Spork.

There are some truly great costumes on Amazon and we’ve culled together a Pinterest board with categories of over 600 of the best right here.